Jenny, girl, you're a Playboy Bunny past your prime, an author, a comedienne, a mother. But you're no expert, despite your "PhD in Google."
I know you mean well. I know your intention is to wake up the world to the autism epidemic (and yes, it IS an epidemic). I know you want to send the message to moms with kids who have autism that they need to shake themselves out of denial because denial wastes time. But what you state as encouragement sticks a knife into the heart of every mother who has DONE all the stuff you've done (except having them blessed by Mormons) and still, their kid is not "fixed."
Honey Bunny, despite all my best efforts, my kid's not completely "fixed" and neither is yours. You have to watch what language you're using, because you can easily crush a mom's hope when all she does is just not "enough." Your son is young, and you have many more years ahead of you. There's so much more than you can even imagine. Puberty hits our sweet little "Indigo Children" (whatever that is) just the same as other kids. Are you prepared for that?
You had my ex-husband's girlfriend convinced that she could come, in a blaze of glory, and "fix" my kid. To me, that felt like an accusation that for ten years I did nothing. Why does she think my ex was so "neglected" in our marriage?
Jenny Dear, you said on the Oprah show that the clock was ticking, and that age 11 is some kind of crucial deadline and that all hope is lost after that. "Girlfriend The Savior" soon found out that there are waiting lists to see doctors, and was (HELLO, welcome to my world!) frustrated that they didn't UNDERSTAND the crucial "timeline" we're dealing with. She also found out that you can carefully and strictly "do" the diet and supplements and still not see a "fixed kid." She also realized, in going over the lists of what you and your biomedical doctors say causes autism, HER kids should be affected by this crappy disorder, not mine. Don't misunderstand me: I no more want her sweet boys to be autistic any more than I want mine to be. I'm just saying it's not all that cut-and-dried. This disorder is UNFAIR, still mysterious, and NOT YET CURABLE, and you're contributing to the confusion.
The age of 11 does not hit like a ticking time bomb. Our kids CAN and DO continue to improve all their lives. How dare you declare doom on my child at age 11!
Jenny, my son IS much better off than he was at diagnosis. Either because of -- or despite -- all the best efforts, he can have rudimentary conversations and tell us what he wants and needs. He can to some extent hang out with the other kids and be tolerated, sometimes even welcomed. But "fixed" would mean that, like any other 10-year-old, he'd be talking baseball or even playing baseball or soccer or Monopoly or a million other things that kids do.
Either because of or despite all the best efforts, my son wants hugs and kisses now, instead of pushing away. How gratifying for me and his other loved ones! But if he was "fixed" he would be getting embarrassed like any 10-year-old does when his mom wants a kiss before he gets on the bus. Heck, for that matter, he'd be walking or biking to school from my house, instead of being picked up by the "short bus."
I'm happy that your book is bringing attention to autism. It should be declared a national emergency! But your book also puts it all back into the laps of the already exhausted, unjustly blamed, and discouraged moms, just the way the insane and unqualified Dr. Bettelheim did with his idiotic 'Refrigerator Mother' theory in the '80s. In doing so, Dr. B claimed the right to take a generation of children away from their mothers and subjected those mothers to a lifetime of undeserved guilt. What effect will your words, "you have a timeline to fix your kids" have on THIS generation of mothers?